I know I wrote that I will do my M.I.A act last night...but I really got to rant..after the never-ending phone calls I received after many read last night entry I wrote.......
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We all know that DIVORCES are on the rise......It was reported on the news... that more marriages here are ending in divorce, and more couples are calling it quits sooner. Divorces and annulments hit a record high splitting up after fewer than five years of marriage. Soooo what does it say about society and that crazy little thing called love?
That 'I love you' doesn't mean that much anymore?
That values like faithfulness, commitment, loyalty and patience are in short supply?
That the belief that the family is the building block of society - and marriage the foundation of the family - is being chipped away?
That relationships (that is, people) are disposable?
That love is no guarantee a marriage will last?
That marriage is no guarantee love will last?
And that even if love doesn't last, marriage is no longer the glue that holds couples and families together?
That - and this is the most tragic bit - love between a couple can actually die?
The traditional 'seven-year itch' has now been replaced by the five-year itch. Today, couples are at their greatest risk of divorcing just before their fifth wedding anniversary.
That's sad.
THE thing about folks like me who've never been married, I am somewhat incurable romantics....and still do believe in the power of love. I do still get tearful at weddings and actually think people mean it when they utter that till-death-do-us-part bit in their vows. But, I also realize that married life is not a romantic music video - where two love-struck people running around a tree in front of a cascading waterfall, music crescendoing to a climax in the background. Neither do I place the institution on a pedestal and cling to fairytale ideals and images (as I see daily evidence of how married life can in fact be pretty dreary and dreadful, the grind of housework, finances to be managed, children's homework to be supervised and just general petty marital annoyances).
Yet when I hear that couples I know are divorcing, I always feel sad and even let down.
How can it be that if you've decided to be committed to the love of your life (for you must have, to have married each other, right?), you can no longer bear to be in each other's company? What's wrong with you? How can you let that love slip away?
Then again, whoever said that the feeling would last forever?
THE thing about love I've found is that familiarity does breed contempt or at least boredom, and you've really got to work to keep the feeling going. Little things about your partner that were sweet in the beginning inevitably start to sour once you've past the love-sick stage. Yes, it was cute how he was as exuberant as a puppy when you first met, but, goodness, isn't he turning out to be loud and boorish now? And while her whining was endearing in the beginning, after years of it you just wish she'd shut up a bit.
Little annoyances can accumulate to make you explode. But I do believe that couples should learnt to accept the irritating traits of their partners (no one is perfect after all) and continue loving them. But for some, love has a use-by date, even if it was 'true love'.
Just as friendship between platonic friends can outlive itself, so, too, can long-term romantic love. I used to think that no matter how much a person disappoints you, it can be overcome if you just focus on the love and relationship. But I've found that love can and does die, although die may be too melodramatic a word. It's more a case of love fading, like the ink from the pages of an old diary, or the image in an aged photo. It disappears for a variety of reasons. The cause can be sensational such as when a partner does something that hurts and deceives you. More often though, the reasons are prosaic, like over-familiarity, boredom and benign neglect. And with the first-stage lust long gone, the love is quickly spent and you just aren't into each other anymore. It's very sad, and the greater tragedy if it is only one half of the couple who has lost the feeling.
Still, to have loved and lost - lost in the sense of losing that love you once held so dear in your heart, and lost as in losing your loved one to someone or something else - must surely be better than to have never loved at all. I don't think that even divorcees would disagree with me on that.
Having saying all these - I guess my point is that I'm so terrified of marriage...I'm fearful of marriage because I'm afraid 5 or 7 yrs down the road how will I know that my marriage won't die (like many others)....I think the only assurance I can cling to ....is if the two of us, decided to put GOD in front of our marriage...abiding in HIS words....being faithful and truly believe that DIVORCE is not an option period.....but sometimes it is easier to say than done......my late parents for instance....I have no doubt that they did love each other to the very end....my dad was so devastated after my mom's demise....never recovered...and 5 yrs later, he too passed on...however.. during their marriage....they so often got irritated with each other a lot...we the children went through a lot of the bad of their marriage (of course the good too). I guess one of the main reason I am so scared of marriage because...I saw how great my mother in handling my dad's temperamental and quirkiness....she did it because she absolutely knew in her heart that there would not be a DIVORCE in her marriage..she wanted to be fully obedient to the LORD....even though my dad was a rather difficult man to live....I am afraid that I won't be able to be like my mother...I then would let God and my mother's down....
LORD, I love you with all my heart....I have been blessed with my relationships...the 3 men that I have/had dated have/had truly spoiled me and been wonderful to me (minus the Frenchie - HA!)....but yeah....but I am afraid of commitment....guide my heart Father God...help me......
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Thx to everyone caring support....I do really do appreciate it but it is something I have to go through myself....alone w/ HIM......
