Saturday, August 29, 2009

A couple of weeks ago – as I was walking to “a place” – I accidentally saw this crumpled up bill on the floor…I looked around and didn’t see anyone at all so I couldn’t guess who might have drop it….I went ahead and picked it up, uncrumpled it an…to my surprise – it was twenty bucks!..WOW I have never found anything more than a $5 before WOW!
My first thought took me back a few yrs back…I’m a gal who’ve alwayz been one of those believing in one comes around goes around kinda person…

(I guess that’s becz how I was brought up….I remember one of the usual Christmas vacation I spent in "THAT PLACE", my oldest bro was sitting on the dining table w/ my late-mom….and we were just chatting…’bout everythg n anythg…my bro at that time was about to marry my now-kewl-sis-in-law :)…in a few months.

Anywaz making the writing short…bro was telling me all these ppl who embezzled/stole huge amt of money…will not be blessed…God is a forgiving father…but evertg has its consequences as well….he reminded me that the best way is to live an honest life…)

I digressed let me go back – anyway my first thought came to me about that day after my loooong night at work (I had to stay late putting together the handover package for a project)…It was raining hard, I was so tired and just couldn’t wait to go home…however, I didn’t have much lunch and skipped dinner…and the time was almost midnight…I decided to make a quick stop in Randall’s to grab smtg really simple n light….as I paid my purchase w/ my ATM card I decided to take out $10 cash for my lunch tomorrow….when the cashier handed it to me I didn’t even check…partly bcz I was too tired…partly bcz she was yaking too much telling me that she had a sick daughter that she didn’t like to leave her at home at night w/ her aunt…but she had not much choice since she had to make a living…etc…and she couldn’t afford losing her job of smtg of such. I got to my car drove home, and just about when I almost about 1 miles away from home – I was caught in a red light so I decided to move the money from inside my purse to my wallet..when I realized that she had given me a $20 instead of a $10 …of course my first instinct was telling me who give a D*MN…geez I was super tired after all – just drove home and kept it…..but then I remembered what she was telling me about losing her job etc…and I know fo’sure cashiers at a grocery stores WILL be let go if money comes up short. So quite grudgingly I turned around, drove 5 miles back to Randall’s, got out of my car, walked straight to THAT cashier and told her hey you gave me a twenty instead of a ten. But to my surprise, instead of showing her gratitude, she nonchalantly just said okay and grabbed the money frm my hand. I was fuming walking out back to my car….but then…smtg inside me told me that I’ve done the right thing…receiving thanks was not important…but passing the test of patience was way more important. I felt ALL my anger just went away right away…went home w/ a light heart.

So yeah back to the twenty I found crumpled up on the ground….I took it…and since there isn’t anyone around that might’ve dropped the money……I then didn’t feel bad….or wrong ‘bout putting it in my pocket LOL!
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My bestie who recently moved to Europe called me n asked me…how my Summer is so far…..well this is how I describe it…itz been: Crazy hectic, eventful, and almost coming to an end. It's funny and bittersweet – all this I can describe about the renov of my TH……..

Sunday, August 23, 2009



So much to be done....
I am very tired....Sigh.....
Stress stress stress. So little time. So little time.
I can't breathe. I need a break.

Where is my pillar of strength?

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Psalm 121: 1 - 2: A Song of Ascents....
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The Maker of heaven and earth.................
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Let me breathe.............

Friday, August 21, 2009

I've been dreamin' of renovation completion n back to my somewhat "NORMAL" life........

Speaking of holidays, I am going to meet the family again in December :) - sometg wonderful to look forward to....in months away...


What hits me the most lately is the subject of "PERFECTION".....ya know....as a perfectionist, it’s super hard for me to swallow & accept life's imperfections, others’ imperfections..and especially mine! One thing I’ve sure learned throughout the years is that no matter how hard I try, I: Call-Me-Miz-M , have absolutely no control of how people think, feel or behave towards me...I simply need to accept some people just the way they are…learning to forgive, to let go, not holding any grudges and most importantly, to move on!...Cuz' you can't change or mold people the way you want them to be! (not without risking being a doormat, a people pleaser..or worst, losing your self-worth & unique identity!)...As one Guinea-Bissau proverb says: "Leave a log in the water as long as you like: It will never be a crocodile"

NEVERTHELESS, I sure have complete control over how I think, feel and behave towards others - and I think that’s what matters the most in living a peaceful, positive & productive life in God's beautiful grace...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Dear God,

I pray that you will give me the honesty I need to look inside myself and discover what is really there, and also to see how my actions affect other people…

May I rid myself of pride that stands in the way of love. May I know not just the joy of love but the responsibilities that come with loving and being loved…

Amen...

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Happenings…..so lots happened since “then”...and last week was a whole lot of shit & sabotages. But I know after this weekend, it's all gonna be good bcz my intentions are good. And that's all that matters no matter what people try to put in ur space. They may be able to get away with it now, but I believe the truth will prevail at the end of the day.

Renovating a place - is exhausting & an emotional process is like having a 2nd job...

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Ya know ppl alwyz talk 'bout the things they hate 'bout work...maybe it'z the boss....perhaps they pay izn't good enough, maybe the woking hrs is ridiculous, maybe there is no meaning to what they do...the list is endless.......... BUT...there'z always a reason why they're still there eventhough they hate it....
My reason is simple...bcz it pays the bills during this time of hardship...itz scarie out there...unemployment hits 2 digits...first time in the history...and it hits home...when your buddies are being laid off...and losing their work.....
I am praying for them....in the name of JC....